I believe I can from scratch tailor my beginning

I give reality a chance,
but I don’t blindly go to its chambers,
I don’t fall easily
to every noise
like when I was a kid.
I surrender to the world
who spreads its arms to hug me or crush me,
I’m taking a risk.
I only squat to peek through the cut
in my right palm,
to remind me
how I was bleeding to protect what was mine.
And I remember forgetting,
because it’s easier to press your eyelids with your thumbs
but to let the pain pour out
and sink you.
But I give these walls a chance
which diminish me as soon as I speak
out loud secrets that I keep from myself.
I’m taking a risk.
Maybe they make room
for me to run this body through them,
this body that people see today,
and they forget tomorrow
what it made them think.
It may seem like I’m about to break,
but through every crack
my eyes absorb air after air,
smile after smile,
the world in another world,
I’m spilling myself.
I spill my wishes
on the way back,
I believe.
I give myself a chance.
This time I believe
that I can from scratch
tailor my beginning.
I won’t forget to remind myself.

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