She took her pain in her hands, squeezing as never before

As the candles began to burn,
the body was ready to surrender.
Waiting for the right moment,
the last song started.
In a well-known rhythm,
with a well-known carmine,
the body was ready to surrender.

What if this is just a test?“,
she wondered while she was lying in the bathtub
of cold water, feeling how
it penetrates through the wrinkled skin,
in the bones where she’s already buried.
She holds a glass of red wine in her hand,
while it’s gently slipping through her fingers.
The water was getting darker,
the candles burned so quickly…
She also burned with them,
her body was icy,
tingles were crossing over her nerves
as she tried to reach that vein.
She touched as if it was the last time.

Was this ever worth it?“,
she wondered, touching her chest,
holding hands on her heart like it doesn’t beat.
She took her pain in her hands,
squeezing as never before,
ready to finally kill
that pain that killed her.
She watched her hands
with a smile on her face,
while the drops full of poison
were gliding down the elbows, leaving traces.
The water soon got the wine color,
the color of the only purity she had
at the core of what she was.

Is this really it?
With her half-closed eyes, she asked herself,
thinking about how she didn’t live.
She simply didn’t know how.
Her body is gripping, ready to surrender.
But the mind doesn’t abandon her.
It persistently returns her
at what she missed,
at what she failed to do.
And it gave her strength
to open her eyes and move on.
Cut by cut, drop by drop.
Does it have to hurt so much?
She screamed and squeezed her pain even stronger
on her lips, she cut all the words she had,
words that were never ready to be said.
At least now they’re destroyed…
She thought, unable to move.
With her eyes closed, she smells
a candle that is about to end.
With the last smile on her face,
she drops a glass of wine…

Flash of memory, all those beautiful faces
which enhanced her glow in front of people,
they became a murky, complex picture.
From everything she had,
all that’s left was a hallucination.
Falling into a deep sleep, she thought:
This was just a bad day…“.
The candles stopped burning
and she stopped breathing.

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